better together

"we can be extraordinary together rather ordinary apart" - a line in one of the greys anatomy episodes, thrown by meredith grey to derek shephard.

last night was a not-so good night. after 9 tiring and exhausting hours of internship i had to wait for yet another say 30 minutes standing, waiting and expecting. that instant, i felt my whole body shrunk unexplainably. you know the feeling of being alone, in a crowd-full street? i stood aghast at the sight of his ex, calling someone on the other line, laughing (i would rather think that the cause of his laughing was something that would alienate me).

tired, draining. i was in the middle of somewhere uncertain and confusing. i shook my head, bit my lip and still waited there patiently. i was really hoping he would come from somewhere else, i had to call him to fetch me and i was like dumbfounded of the whole scenario! fcuk! and worse, the artians went and intruded the moment (for whatever reason i dont exactly know).

im still stuck with nothingness. it's 7 o'clock in the morning when i woke up to the sound of the ongoing construction. i feel terribly weak as my eyes are swollen and my feet aching from the late night walking. i only had 4 hours of decent sleep and i really feel down (it's as if that i did a strenuous job).

"weigh things over..."

being single is really something i've lived up to (i wasnt really sure about the hook-up thing or the meet-up thing). i started out late to have a serious relationship. in other words, i was a late bloomer. i am reluctant to admit that being single needs not effort at all! coz being single gives you the chance to be alone with yourself and give more time to yourself (that's just the perk of singlehood). in a relationship therefore, is somehow complicated. i seriously did a lot of adjustments and sacrifices for everything to work. i've managed to allot my time and still cope up with the relationship as well. ive changed my body clock and my sleeping habits, some of my routine changed and my online-ing lesser, because if i had to be in a relationship, i have to commit, i have to do something outside of my comfort zone.

later after tonight will be valentines day (lesser expectations mean lesser frustration).