stained cigarette butt and what not

its been a while since i last had a fag. ive been missing the smell of a freshly opened flip top or a soft pack - just as much as i missed the smell of my.rez. last night was not a good night and i had to stop myself from over reacting (i told myself that it was just a hi-hello!) but i still have something in mind though.

february 11. i woke up and read his messages. it was a tough day for him (then i thought to myself, if it was his tough day, i should be beside him!). he took up an exam (for some reason, i have this weird feeling that this exam is somehow work related) ending the 7:26 AM message with apply ibn kolcenter. one of the dont-know-how-to-react-moments again! i seem to be getting the idea that he'd be passing the dreaded resignation letter anytime.

i love my rez. i wanted him to finish tertiary and to some extent attend his graduation. i admit that i've been way pushy for him to go to school - but that's just how to do it (that's how i do it). my mind is spinning as i write this blog and i still havent talked to him after our 1:56 conversation via skype. there are a lot of things going on in my mind and unless we talk it out, i wouldnt think this way. what the hell is wrong with me?

nah. im perfectly fine. maybe i just missed my.rez. can't wait for valentines day.